How Starfish Came to be and Why they are Star-shaped

***Please not that this is NOT a true story, the following story is for entertainment purposes only.***

Elvis was taking his normal drive through the toxic jungle of Antarctica. He was late for his concert and was rushing in his car as he dodged polar bears, snow monkeys, and igloos. All of a sudden, a huge sonic boom sent Elvis and his car skidding into a three foot ditch. Elvis looked around the gloomy, dark ditch. His head caught up with him and he realized that he hadn’t eaten for way too long. A fried peanut-butter and banana sandwich sounded really good to him right now. As if by magic, a giant sandwich floated by his car window. He darted out to greet it, but it rose an inch out of the grasp of his stubby fingers. Suddenly, the sandwich grew into a face, and Elvis grimaced. Then one by one, a human-like form started to appear. First, arms appeared, covered in peanut butter, then legs looking like bananas. The sandwich started to look like human arms and legs.

“Who be you?” a voice boomed out like a jet taking off.

“Oh my gosh!” Elvis yelled, “It’s the evil clone of pop sensation Britney Spears, Yentirb Sraeps!”

“Yes, it is I, evil clone of the pop sensation, Britney Spears”

“What are you doing here?” gasped Elvis.

“Getting rid of you, what else?” screeched Yentirb in a deathly high-pitched tone that caused Elvis’s car windows to smash.

“What…but…why?” squeaked Elvis nervously.

“Well, Britney and I, Yentirb Sraeps, evil clone of the pop sensation Britney Spears, have noticed that you have been stealing a lot of our money with your songs and albums being better then Britney’s! With you gone we wukk accept our greedy attitude and take all the money! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“You’ll never get away with it!” Elvis screeched, straining his vocal chords.

“Just watch me,” she replied. “Oh, wait, that’s right, you be GONE!” HAHAHAHA!” Suddenly, Yentirb snapped and three sparkling images flew down around her head. They sparkled all different colors. “Take care of him,” she instructed them. Then, the sparkling figures flew up close to him and inspected his face. Elvis stared at the delicate creatures looking intently at him. Their heads were the size of his thumb.

“We have to destroy this guy?” The blue one said. “He smells weird.” She turned to look and Yentirb, but she had left.

“I do not!” Elvis yelled back. “What are you guys anyway?” he questioned.

“We are Sprites, of course!” The blue sprite said, in sing-song tone.

The red sprite approached Elvis and said, “Listen, we would rather be playing games of zero-gravity basket-weaving instead of destroying you, so I’ll make you a deal. Just be quiet, and we will buy you a Mercury burger on the way to the Destruction Zone on Mars.”

“Well, what if I don’t agree to your terms?” Elvis questioned with a smug on his face. His question was answered by the grayish-black sprite.

“You don’t want to know!” he snarled. Elvis’s smug instantly disappeared

For a few hours the sprites and Elvis rode until they reached Mercury Burgers, on Mars. After the burger and the sub-zero shake, they rode next door to the Destruction Zone that said, “Send a human to space the easy way for sprite slaves of evil clones of singing pop sensations”. The sprites then stuck Elvis in a tiny tube, and all three of the sprites argued about which button to push over on the control panel.

“I think it’s the big red one that says, ‘shoot to sun’,” the red sprite stated.

“Actually-” coughed Elvis. “I think that the button that would cause me the most damage would be ‘turn into a star’ .”

The sprites all agreed and pushed the button. Elvis whirled around violently. All of a sudden he looked at himself and realized that he was a star, literally.

“You okay?” the blue sprite asked.

“Need…water!” Elvis, now a star, gasped.

The sprites then used their spritely magic and multiplied Elvis, making more stars, and sent them flying into the ocean back on Earth. Scientists, a few years later, found the stars, and decided to call them starfish!